Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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