I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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