We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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