I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
