im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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