I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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