i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
