she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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