shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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