Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
