You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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