I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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