Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
