school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
