How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
