my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
