they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
