in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
