My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
