First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
