She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
