I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
