So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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