i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
