So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
