This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
