I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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