at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize