hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
