Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I forgot wine drunk hurts
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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