Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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