I cockslap morals
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
