I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
