He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
