Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
