That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
