the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
