so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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