i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
