Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
