Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
