Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
