It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
