I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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