I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
