Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. Youโll ruin sex for him because new girls wonโt compare
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