we have officially lost it.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
