ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
