I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
