Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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