Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
