you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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