dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
