Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize