Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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