We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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