with your own penis?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
