Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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