Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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