you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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