i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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