Sry I called you an 8
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
