I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish i was in the wii world.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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