I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
