if you like me you must not know who I am
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
