I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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