If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize