she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
