He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sober January is a disaster.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I have post one night stand depression
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