we're blogging at a bar
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
