a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the liver wants what the liver wants
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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