I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
