I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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