All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
