It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
