I heard we made out
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
