Got a toothbrush?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
