I'm really into asian looking animals
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
