Are we in a gay sports bar?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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