You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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